What are the most common sexual myth you come across?

Sexual myths and misconceptions leading to anxiety are the most common sexual problem. Commonest myths are those related to masturbation or dissipation of semen. Other prevalent myths are about celibacy, virginity, passing ‘dhat’ or ‘veerya’ in the urine, aphrodisiacs etc. These myths are being handed down from one generation to the next and, as a result, many people imagine more problems than they actually have.

What is masturbation?

Masturbation is a deliberate stimulation of the genitals for pleasure, which may or may not be pursued to the point of orgasm.

How do men masturbate?

For men, the commonest method is to fold the palm and fingers over the penis, so as to encircle it and produce friction by to and fro movements, often till orgasm and ejaculation are reached. Variations such as making coital movements against bed clothes, a pillow, pressing against some obje0cts etc. are also reported.

Do women masturbate? How?

Yes, women do indulge in masturbation. The usual method is by rubbing a finger on the clitoris. The female anatomy permits considerable variations such as thigh rubbing, rubbing clothing between the thighs and making vulval movements, instrumental masturbation by inserting an object into the vagina, striking the clitoris with a water jet etc.

Is it advantageous to use the vacuum apparatus or enlarging the penis?

No. The use of a vacuum apparatus may prove dangerous and may even lead to fibrous degeneration of the penis.

Is the penis usually inclined towards the left?

Yes, it is true for the majority of men. This is so perhaps because the left testis is lower than the right. Therefore, while wearing there under garments most men adjust their penis on the left side, as enough space exists on the left side as compared to the right.

Does a slight curvature of the penis lead to any difficulty in penetration?

No. A slight curvature of the penis either to the left or to the right, is common and does not affect penetration at all. It is a myth that an erect penis should always be at a right angle.

What is ‘Dhat Syndrome’?

Sometime one passes whitish fluid in the urine or while straining at stools. The belief that this fluid is semen is called as the ‘Dhat syndrome’. This is not a disease and it would not be inappropriate to say, “It exists only in the mind of the beholder.”

The physiological sphincter at the neck of the urinary bladder always remains closed and opens only when one is passing urine. Thus, it ensures that normally, urine and semen can never mix together i.e. normally; one cannot pass semen in urine. Sometimes, a physiological alteration in the urinary solutes may change the appearance of urine, making it whitish, which is mistaken to be semen by misinformed individuals.

In reality, it is a secretion of the prostate and the urethral glands. When a person squats in the toilet and exerts a little pressure, this pressure is relayed from the rectum to the prostate and the urethra, and a few drops of a sticky white secretion accumulate, coalesce and trickle down. The phenomenon is akin to there being 10 drops of perspiration on the forehead being joined by an eleventh and tricking down. In my opinion, this misconception is prevalent in our country because of squatting toilet habits, as people tend to look down and see the sticky substance, which they presume to be semen. In developed countries, most people use western style commodes, so they look straight ahead. Hence, ‘what the eye does not see, the mind does not know!’

Can Television or Media he helpful in promoting sex education?

Television can be a very effective medium for a multitude of reasons (As it is basically an audiovisual medium it can reach out to the illiterate as well as the literate masses). ‘Sex’ is considered a taboo in our orthodox society. If sex education were to be given via a public mass medium such as television, ii would reflect the government’s healthy attitude towards the issue and can decrease the social taboos significantly. Because of its tremendous reach, it will increase public awareness and pave the way towards ‘ii honest social environment and sexual literacy.

It is a medium through which education may be passively imparted to the masses, in the privacy of their homes. Thus, shy individuals who are unable to ask questions or seek help are also provided with the information they desire. Proper information about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases can help in spreading information about Family Planning and also decrease the incidence of STD’s. The potential for television, as an effective medium for sex education, is unlimited.

What should one tell children about sexual abuse?

One should approach the subject directly and objectively giving appropriate and honest information without communicating unnecessary anxiety. This will make the child aware of sexual abuse and enable him to recognize sexual abuse and potential sexual abusers, when he encounters them. School children may be warned not to accept favors from strangers.

In adolescent years, a more frank discussion can take place. A trusting parent-child relationship encourages children to report unusual incidents with other persons, to their parents. In fact, public recognition in the area of child molestation is absolutely essential. Specific incidents, which have already occurred, should be reported and discussed in newspapers and on television. This will help in proper handling of sexual molesters.

Can the incidence of sex crimes be reduced by sex education?

Yes. Occasionally when sexual desire becomes intense, and a partner is not available, the only release left is masturbation. Rampant myths about masturbation (that it leads to impotence, homosexuality, tuberculosis etc.) often discourage individuals from indulging in it. In such circumstances, the intensity of sexual desire outweighs moral bindings and one may resort to sexual activity by force i.e. rape. This leads to an increase in sexual crimes. Rapes are also committed due to a common prevalent myth; that a man would be cured of venereal diseases if he has sexual intercourse with a virgin. Sex education, by eradicating these misconceptions, can orient an individual to direct his sexual impulses in a socially acceptable manner.

Is it harmful if the parent’s answers are a little more than what a child can understand?

Parents worry a great deal as to whether this knowledge will harm the child. Though we live in a conservative society, scientific knowledge appropriate to the age of the child will not harm the child while ignorance may.

It is better to give the child the basic information asked for in a simple, factual and loving manner. Even if the parent occasionally replies a little more than what the child can understand, there is no harm because this will help in leaving the door open for further questions.

Does giving sex education stimulate urges and sexual desires leading to increase in unwanted pregnancies and venereal diseases?

No. Sex education does not stimulate urges and sexual desire. In fact it satisfies one’s curiosity with appropriate and correct information enabling one to recognize one’s sexuality and sexual orientation. As mentioned by Milton I. Levine at Cornell University Medical College in New York “There is no evidence whatsoever that sex education is harmful, that it excites curiosity or stimulates sex urges and desires. On the contrary, there is ample evidence that it does help in gaining a wholesome attitude towards sex and understanding of the normal sex attitudes, roles and relationships”. He further states that “ it may aid our boys and girls to learn to direct their sex impulses with more knowledge and intelligence, to make a correct choice between operating codes of heterosexuality and homosexuality and to recognize and understand those men and women with sex desires and urges which are deviant”. In fact, it has been observed that in countries where proper sex education is given, the number of cases of unwanted pregnancies and venereal diseases have reduced considerably.

What is most important for parents to remember while giving sex education?

It is important to encourage the child’s question as a constructive curiosity and answer truthfully at a level appropriate to his age. It may happen that when a child asks a question, the parents might not know the answer or, because of their own values, they are unable to reply. At such moments, one may admit “That’s a very good question but even I do not know the answer... well, let’s find out.” Such parents have a better chance of bringing up their children to respect them than those who are not responsive to their children’s sexual needs and curiosity; in other words, those who are not approachable. There are some children who never seem to ask questions. It would be an error to assume that since no questions are asked, no answers need to be given.

“Where did I come from?” What is the answer to thin question?

When a child asks this question ‘Where did I come from?’ one can begin by saying “You came from a place, inside mummy’s body.” If the child can trust you not to be too rigid or hostile in your response to his questions, he will look upon you as a source of wisdom and guidance. Additional information relevant to the question asked may be given as he/she grows and is ready for knowledge suited to that period of development.

What is the right time to start sex education?

There is no right or wrong time to start sex education. It can be started any time after the mind is receptive to conceptual inputs. Even, as the child develops education appropriate to his age may be imparted. Without conscious volition parents are providing sex education to the child from the moment he/she is born. The way the parents hold and touch the child during infancy and the way they both interact with the child and with each other lays the foundation for his future sexual learning. Making the child feels loved and lovable has a profound influence in shaping future attitudes towards sex and sexuality. The way in which the parents relate to each other, their interactions and the day to day life in the family will influence the individual’s sense of self-esteem, body image, gender role, family roles as well as the capacity for love, intimacy and sharing.

How should one go about giving sex education?

All children are normally curious about everything including sex. If a youngster does not ask sex-related questions, it is because he/she is given to feel that his/her parents would be uncomfortable in the face of these questions and either would not answer or would not tell the truth. If the parents are comfortable about sex, it should be relatively easy to find an appropriate opportunity to let the youngster know [hat this is not a forbidden area. For instance, if someone is pregnant; if a female dog has pups; if there is evidence of night emission (wet dreams) the parents could assure the child that its curiosity about these is quite normal. Sometimes a newspaper with an illustrated article on how babies are made or a birth control advertisement could become a potential source for discussion. Parents should strive to achieve a good rapport with their children and promote a healthy and comfortable parent-child relationship, thus becoming “Approachable Parents.”

What is Sex Education?

Sex education ideally involves education about the anatomy and physiology of the human reproductive system, conception, contraception, psycho-sexuality, sexual differences and the constituents of love as they relate to sexual behavior, and is not merely a discussion on how babies are made. It provides a background in which an individual develops into a healthy, responsible adult capable of using the innate sex instinct to the fullest potential, without being obsessed by it. It enables one to recognize and be comfortable with one’s sexuality.

Why is formal Sex Education necessary today?

Recently, due to the principally career oriented approach for economic independence the average age of marriage is delayed. Also with improvement in nutrition and health care, the average age of onset of puberty is earlier and the average life span is extended. Thus, the average potential sexual career of an individual is extended.

The social environment today, though orthodox and prudish, provides constant sexual stimulation. This conflict between sexual drives and social norms generates a tremendous amount of anxiety and sexual frustration, which may find expression as, increased promiscuity, casual sexual relationships, unwanted teenage pregnancies and an alarming increase in the incidence of sex crimes and sexually transmitted diseases. Rampant myths and misconceptions about sex further complicate the situation. This social problem can only be resolved through comprehensive sex education, which can increase social awareness and improve the social environment. Sex education should be formally incorporated into health education programs.